Thursday, 25 February 2010

Tory Budget Spreadsheet!

Shh! This is top secret.
I'd like to reveal more, but that's the only filled in worksheet cell.

Saturday, 20 February 2010

Fair's Fair

So now we know Labour's election pledge: "A Future Fair for All".

Yes, with the recession still biting, reposessions soaring, bankruptcies up, Gordon Brown is offering the British public the modern equivalent of bread and circuses... a fun fair will be coming to your town soon.
  • MPs playing dodgems on the expenses
  • An out of control economic roller coaster
  • A helter-skelter ride through the criminal justice system
  • And promises of more spin on the merry-go-round
Labour activists must be waking up to their election launch and wondering why they bother.

Sunday, 14 February 2010

Donor Kebab

The inevitable mudslinging over donations has started with Labour getting all upset because the Tories are getting more money than they are.

Reading West Conservatives DO NOT get money from Lord Ashcroft. It's another typically outrageous Labour lie...

... because everyone knows it was Reading East Conservatives that trousered nearly £10.000 of the Belize tax dodger's cash to help pay for Rob Wilson's election victory even if Richard Willis did stand up in the council chamber and deny it. They get £7500 a year from Sir John Madejski, [Update: I was made aware that they didn't declare a prejudicial or personal interest but it has since been pointed out to me that the Conservative group did declare a non-prejudicial interest with respect to the offices that Sir John pays for, so apologies for any confusion caused. Happy to correct it.]. Still, times are hard so it's good to know that a top up from some of Rob Wilson's communications allowance went to the Reading East party to pay for delivery services except didn't he tell the Standards Committee that he used volunteers.  Hang on, I digress!

Silly Labour boys. As any fule kno, Alok Sharma gets his cash from plain old common or garden multi-millionairees. Roger Hancox, Richard Beynon MP, oh and what looks like a London based Indian textile firm and an Indian shipping billionaire. Didn't think a qualified Chartered Accountant could afford it all on his own do you? Of course, not. That's why Jamie Chowdary has to dig deep.

Perhaps Cllr Ennis is too shy in his wallet envy to ask tthe Communication Workers Union for a pocket money rise after his MP 'campaigned' to save Post Offices then voted to close them. Or maybe UNISON instead of writing begging letters to councillors about their pay deal have finally twigged that if they actually don't give the local Labour Party any more of their members' money they might get a better one? Perhaps UNITE? Nah. My union has treated their members as suckers with that fairy story about influence so they'll carry on handing over the cash. I guess the only option left is to have a word with Bernie Ecclestone. I'm sure they could cut another highly coincidental and unreated deal before the election.

It doesn't take much investigation to discover the truth. Now, if only Reading had a Private Eye style satirical web site we'd know all this wouldn't we?

Thursday, 4 February 2010

Blogging Hell

Poor Martin Salter is unsurpisingly having problems gettng to grip with modern communcaion methods.

The self-confessed luditte has signed up for a blog on The Torygraph. I hope they pay well! After ridiculing those of us who hve been using the internet for quite some time, this has to be another of those classic Salteresque facing both ways at once moments that has characterised his career. Who next are we going to see do a dizzying about turn? The Pope handing out contraception advice?

Which brings me on to... Martin's attack on the fashion sensibilities of His Holiness (as us good Catholic boys call him). Good plan to outrage Catholics with an election coming up. Another vote winner from Labour. And I somehow don't think the Pope is going to worry about accusations of hypocricy from someone who claimed to be backing the Gurkhas campaign for justice, then with no shame whatsoever voted with his Governmnt to deny them it.

It reminds me of a Young Ones gag:

Reporter: Martin, I hear you've upset the whole congregation of Saint Josephs?.
Martin Salter: Yeah. I insulted the Pope.
Reporter: But that's just stupid. You know they're Catholic
Martin Salter: Yeah. But I didn't know that he was.

You know, I think I'm going miss him!

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Press Ganged

Being attacked by a Tory still stands up to Dennis Healy's description of being savaged by a dead sheep.

It's not really any sort of secret that all parties work on press release templates for consituencies which get slightly amended by local party workers or unpaid interns, sent to the local press who then cut and paste them directly into the copy without any critical analysis. It's not a criticism of the journalists involved. With the print media desperately shedding staff and jobs to slash costs, local journalists simply don't have the time or budget to to it any more.

So it is slightly unfortunate that after some sniggering at local Lib Dems' expense, Reading Tories find themselves in the unfortunate position that Alok Sharma and Rob Wilson chose to press release their outrage over the crime figure pointing to a 198% rise in the figures in Reading straight from the central press pack.

Outrage at the drop of a hat is only to be expected from politicians, but highly embarrassingly if the figures they use don't stand up to any sort of statistical scrutiny. Even worse the Tory analysis is ridiculed by the very people they claim to be standing up for - the police.

The BBC's Mark Easton has done a nice demolition job on the Tory press release so as revenge it will only be a matter of time before the Tories hand over the broadcast media in this country to Rupert Murdoch as recompense for services rendered.