And when the sun is shining down
On this little mining town
People come from miles around
To see the funny snarling clowns
But not you
You were the one I liked best
You were the grooviest dressed
The only looney left in town
It is enormously entertaining to see the Labour leadership candidates vying to be prolier-than-thou.. After painting themselves as the future of old Labour, a quick cold shower is required to scrub away those hard to shift Brown stains. Squeaky clean and invigorated, the new Labour leader will step, Bobby Ewing like, out of the shower into the arms of an adoring public who will be throwing rose petals at his feet as losing the election is revealed to be all a bad dream.
That plan might just have worked if they hadn't started squabbling: "I was completely against the war in Iraq." "I was more against the war more than you were." "My brother and I had our fingers crossed behind our backs so our support didn't count proper." Yes, everyone does wake up but it would appear that everyone is actually in in David Cameron's dream.
Labour has a huge problem hanging over it. All parties run at a deficit to some extent, but Labour's failure, like their reliance on profits from the banks to prop up the state, was to not plan for the bad times. And what genius of a union strategist took their cue from the Arthur Scargill book General Secretarying for Dummies and chose not to pick a fight with Labour when in Government, but suddenly woke up when it was too late, they were out of power and unable to deliver a bag of groceries. Union members have got precious little in return for their political levy.
Whilst Edmilliballs vie for the caretaker position, I'm no fan of hers but Diane Abbott should be their next leader reflecting the views of the rank and file more that the Parliamentary Party. But they won't because she's a girl.
Labour will have another leadership contest before the next election, that much is pretty much guaranteed, so the winner this time doesn't really matter. It really doesn't.