Wednesday, 22 September 2010

Mick Spreader @ Lib Dem Conference

Today was the deadline for my football fanzine, and despite giving myself an impossible schedule and the resultant stress, I rediscovered how much fun I have writing gags. I have been toying with the idea of bringing back MuckspReading in a slightly different form for a while but to avoid trouble aimed at national politics or maybe a Lib Dem version. Obviously the spReading bit won't work, but the increasingly unfunny and irrelevant Liberator and the nauseating Glee leaves a gap in the market.

If you've not heard of it, it was a satirical and parody website loosely based on Private Eye except like my football fanzine Up the Arse! it contained no op-eds - if it wasn't a gag it didn't make the cut. You can take a peek of the local Standards Board referred muckspReading if you haven't seen it before. I have to admit that I do miss writing it.

I have been working on an Alternative Campaigns Manual and anti-Glee songbook but didn't have time to finish them before conference. As a sneak preview, this was my reworded St. Trinian's Chant. Needs a bit more work, but you get the idea.

The Lib Dem Chant

We are worthy, we are proud
Our campaigns are very loud
Our beliefs don't follow the crowd
We are the Lib Dems

We don't fake the way we feel
We campaign in rain with zeal
Canvassing needs balls of steel
We are the Lib Dems

You slight us, then watch your back
Be sure we will attack
More dangerous than religious maniacs
We are the Lib Dems

Our fearsome battle cry
Is enough to terrify
Those that get in our way

We have the best
Who screw the rest
And do as we damn well please
Until the end
We are Lib Dems
Defenders of Liberty

So fight off the toffs
Help the NEETS, and police on the beat
Tax all the banks, swap Trident for more tanks
Expose Labour's theft, By Brown and his mates
To help out the poor, We increase allowance rates
And if Labour complain
we'll do it all again
Defenders of Liberty

Our fearsome battle cry
Is enough to terrify
Those that get in our way

We have the best
Who screw the rest
And do as we damn well please
Until the end
We are Lib Dems
Defenders of Liberty

Victorious
Still rebelious
Still vote as we damn well please
Until the end
We are Lib Dems
Defenders of Liberty

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